Love Or Not To Love
by AnimeGerl15
Summary: Chapter 10 is finally up. Their has been a change in the story read to see what has happened!I DO NOT OWEN SAILOR MOON
1. Chapter 1

**Love Or Not To Love**

**Chapter1**

**I was lying in bed, and could hear Mina out in the kitchen trying to make breakfast.**

**'She never was very good at cooking.' I thought to myself.**

**I learned that the day we became roommates, I knew she wasn't good at cooking before that, but I really knew then. I can still remember that day; it was about a year ago. Mina and I decided to get an apartment so we could get away from our families, and have more freedom. We both decided to celebrate our first night in our apartment. Mina volunteered to make most of the dinner, it took awhile and after she was done, she brought it out. She had made pizza, and it looked really good. But the problem was it was so hard she couldn't cut it. I started to laugh. Well I guess that I should get up and see if Mina needs help. With that I pulled the covers off and reached over to grab a robe that was lying on the chair by my bed. I put the robe on and walked out of my room and towards the kitchen. As I entered the kitchen I could see Mina covered in flour.  
"Mina, maybe you should just go clean up and I'll clean up this mess. Then we can go to that new coffee shop." I said.**

**"Yeah, I guess your right. Even if I did make it, it probably would taste bad. And you can't help me, because you suck at cooking." Said Mina.**

**We both started to laugh. Then I started to clean up the mess, while Mina when to go take a shower. After I got the kitchen clean, I went back in to my room to get dressed. When I came out of the room, I was wearing a tank top that was blue, and blue jean shorts. Mina was sitting on the couch she was wearing a T-shirt and a blue mini-skirt.**

**"Serena, you ready to go?" Mina asked.  
"Yeah." I answered.**

**"It's not that far away, I think we should walk. What do you think Serena?" Mina asked.**

**"Yeah, we can walk." I answered.**

**So we both walked out the door and down the steps.  
"Lita says this is a really good place." Said Mina.  
"Oh, she has already gone to it? If she says it's a good place it's got to be." I said.**

**"I haven't seen Lita in a while..." I Said.  
"Yeah, she said she has been a little busy. You know, with her restaurant." Mina said.**

**"Lita has been a good friend of ours, since she went to high school with us. Her dream has always been to have a restaurant." I thought to myself.**

**"Hey, look we're here. It looks nice." Said Mina.**

**We both walk in and as we walk in we sit at a table by the window. A waitress walked up to us and said,**

**"May I take your order?"**

**"I would like a cup of coffee. And a honey bun." Mina told the waitress.**

**"I will have a cup of coffee and a honey bun and a cinnamon bun." I told the waitress.**

**"Thank you, your order will be ready soon." Said the waitress.  
"Hey you know, we should get a hold of our old friends sometime." I said. **

**"Yeah, but some won't be able to come." Said Mina.**

**"Really like who?" I questioned.**

**"Well like Raye, and Amy." Said Mina.**

**"Really, why?" I questioned.**

**"Well Amy went to Germany to study, and Raye is busy taking care of the shrine." Said Mina.**

**"Oh yeah, I forgot about that." I answered.  
"So it's just you, Lita, and me." I Said.**

**"Yeah." Answered Mina.**

**Just then the waitress brought our orders.**

**"Okay, the honey bun, coffee, and cinnamon bun." Said the waitress.**

**"That's mine." I said. **

**The waitress sets the coffee and plate down in front of me. Then she sets the other honey bun and coffee down in front off Mina, and left.**

**I dug right into my food, and so did Mina. Mina got done just as I was finishing my cinnamon bun.**

**"That was good." I said.  
"Yeah it was." Said Mina.**

**"I'm going to go to this place a lot." I said.**

**"Remember don't go here to much, or your new name will be Fatty Serena." Said Mina.**

**I just stuck my tongue out at her. Mina started to laugh.**

**"Well do you want to go?" Asked Mina.**

**"Why are you in such a hurry?" I asked **

**"Remember I got a date with Andrew." Said Mina.**

**"I forgot that you had another date with him. Which I don't know how I can, this is probably your fourth date with him this week." I said.**

**"Yeah well I can't help it, I really like him." Said Mina.**

**"Yeah yeah, well I think we should go" I said. **

**So we walked up to the counter and paid. Then we both walked to the door and I opened it and just as I turned the corner I ran in to something hard.  
"Wait, I know this feeling, but it can't be him, I mean he don't live near here. He can't be here." I thought.**

**A/N Hey, hope you liked it, pleases R/R. if I don't get any reviews I will not update it any more. It's rated r for later on in the chapters well I think lol. Thank you to CheshireCat1690 for editing this for me!**


	2. chapter 2

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Previously in chapter one. Then we both walked to the door and I opened it and just as I turned the corner I ran in to something hard.  
"Wait, I know this feeling, but it can't be him, I mean he don't live near here. He can't be here." I thought.  
Now on with chapter 2

****

Chapter2

Just then, I opened up my eyes. And my heart sunk right in to my stomach. My face had surprise and anger right on it. My mouth was dropped right opened, but you could see the anger in my eyes. Though, Darien's face did not have a surprised look at all, on his face was that stupid smile. The one that he has every time I run into him.

Dammit, what's he doing here? Those words just keep going over and over again in my mind. Just then, I was interrupted from my thoughts by a voice.  
"Serena, are you okay?" Mina asked while she was helping me up from the ground.

"Yeah." I answered while brushing my clothes off.

"You haven't changed Meatball Head. You still don't pay attention to what you're doing, and you're as clumsy as ever." Darien said with the cocky attitude.

After I heard him say those words, I shut my mouth and my face just got so red, and my eyes probably had flames in them.

"Yeah Darien, that's what you think but your nothing but a cocky asshole. What do you think your doing here. I thought you moved." I said with so much anger in my voice.

"I did Serena, but I decided to come back." Darien answered, still with that cocky voice

"Yeah, well, go back because I don't want you here, all you do is make my life so miserable." I said.

"Well, I wanted to move back so I can annoy you every single day of your life." He said with a smile on his face.  
Before I could say anything to that Mina decided to bud in, which I forgot she was even there. I was sure, she was getting tired of this conversation. Especially since, she has a date with Andrew.  
"Hey you guys, you're making people stare at you." Said Mina

"No, they're probably staring at Serena since she looks so weird and funny. With her big mouth she brings a lot of attention to her." Darien said while laughing.  
That was it, I couldn't take it anymore so I yelled, "Shut UP Darien!!" With that I started walking right past him as fast as I could.

Then Mina started to run after me, she finally caught up to me. Me and her were already half way back to our apartment.  
"Can you believe him how arrogant he is? And now he's back. Why couldn't he just stay away? All I know I better not ever see him again." I said.

"Calm down Serena. Don't let him ruin your day." Said Mina.  
Of course it didn't bug her that he was back, he was nice to all my friends. But he has always been mean to me. I really don't know why. My friend Molly says he likes me, but if he did he wouldn't be mean to me.

"All I know is, I can't wait to go home, and sit down and eat ice cream." I said.

"What do you mean eat? You just got done eating." Mina said.

"I know but I'm hungry again, fighting with Darien makes me hungry. or I just eat every time he pisses me off." I answered.  
"You know that's not good, you're going to get fat Serena." Mina protested.

"I don't care." I answered.

"Fine you keep on eating, you're just giving him another reason to make fun of you." Mina said.

I hate it when she's right. I'm sure she could read it on my face.

We finally got to the apartment. I took out my key and unlocked the door. As soon as Mina got in, she ran straight to her room. so she could get ready for her date with Andrew. But, me of course, went straight to the fridge and got out the ice cream. Forget the bowl I'll just eat it out of the carton. So I walked over to the drawer and opened it and grabbed the biggest spoon I could find. Then I walked to the couch and sat down. I got the remote and turned on the TV. I flipped through the channels and I finally found something to watch. It was my all time favorite Sailor V movie. Just as I get comfortable, go figure, the doorbell rings. So I yell, "Mina, your date's here."

"Can you get the door for me? And tell him I will be there in a minute." She yells back.

I moan as I get up from the couch, and I walk to the door.

"Hi Serena." Andrew says.  
"Yeah, yeah, Mina will be here in a minute." I say in a grouchy voice

Andrew walks in and stands in the little hallway that goes straight to the kitchen. Just as I'm about to turn back around to go back to the movie Mina walks out. She's wearing a yellow dress that stops at the knees and she's wearing her hair up in a messy bun.

She has her high-heeled yellow sandals on too.  
"You look...wow...I mean...very beautiful." He says.

"Thank you, you look nice, too." Mina answers.

With that, I turn around to go back to my movie. While I'm walking I hear Andrew ask.

"Why is Serena so grouchy today?" "Oh, well she ran in to Darien. Did you know he was here?" Mina asked.

"He seen her today? Yeah, I told him if he saw her not to make trouble. But he never listens to me." Andrew said.

With that, they finally walked out the door still talking about me and Darien I might add. I just hate it when people talk about me."Oh well, might as well just forget it. I'll just stay mad at Darien. I use to like him ,but I don't think I do any more I just don't know. It's all your fault Darien!!" I scream. I'm just so confused. After a while of thinking, I fell asleep on the couch. Time I woke up Mina was back, and she was rambling on about her date. I was listening to some of it. But I couldn't listen to it all, I had a major headache from thinking about Darien. Just then, I heard Mina say Darien's name.

"What did you say about Darien?" I questioned.

"I said he was in the restaurant that me and Andrew were at. He was wondering where you were." Mina answered.

"Oh really, why?" I questioned trying to keep the smile off my face. No one new I use to like him.

"He didn't say, I said you were at home, and he said um nevermind." Mina said.

"No, what did he say?" I asked.

"You know him, just making fun of you." She answered.

With that I didn't want to know anymore.

"Well, I'm going to go to bed Serena." Mina said.

"Yeah, I'm going to go to bed too." I said and with that we both went in to our rooms and I got undressed and got into bed. But I couldn't stop thinking about Darien.

A/N: Hey hope you liked it sorry if it's short. It's just that school started. And I didn't have time to get a lot in this chapter. But I would like to thank everyone who wrote me reviews and read this fic. Please_ write more reviews to let me know what you think._


	3. chapter 3

_A/N: Hey I'm really sorry it has taken such a long time for this chapter but school has started and I'm kind of busy with homework. And then my computer was broken and had to be fixed and I just got it back today. Anyways on with the story. _

_Chapter 3 _

_I rolled over in bed. I looked at the clock it was 7:00 AM. I never got up this early on a Sunday, back when I lived with my parents. Then all of a sudden I heard claw marks at the door. I pulled the sheets off me and reached over to the chair and got my robe. Then I put my foot on the cold floor. I could feel the coldness go up my legs. I got to the door and grabbed for the handle. Just as I turned it, my cat Luna came running in practically running over me.  
"Watch out Luna, what are you trying to do kill me?" I questioned _

_But I ignored it and walked out to the kitchen, on the counter laid a note, I picked it up. It read, _

_Hey, Andrew came over really early this morning. So we decided to go out to eat. I would have told you but you get grumpy if I wake you up. Oh and There's a call for you on the answering machine. Ill be back later.  
Your friend, _

_Mina  
"I wonder who could have called me." I thought to myself _

_I walk over to the answering machine and I clicked the button. _

_It said you have one message.  
"Hey it's me Darien I thought maybe we could get together sometime since it's been such a long time...well give me a call Meatball Head. My number is 863-1516.  
"Yeah I could just see us going out, we would fight the whole time. But maybe I should I really don't know, we never get along. Maybe for once he wants to try and get along with me and be nice. Yeah right I'm kidding myself." I said out loud _

_I walk over to the TV room and sit down in a chair and I pick up the remote and I turn on the TV.  
"Maybe if I watch some TV I can get this out of my mind." I think to myself _

_I turn the channel to 43, where they are showing the top 20 countdown. The first music video that plays is Linkin park 'Breaking The Habit'. I sit there and watch the top 20 countdowns. And time it is over I hear the door open.  
"Hey Serena I'm back." Mina says _

_"Yeah I know. I can hear you." I answer _

_As she walks in to the room where I am she asked, " Did you get the message?" _

_"Yeah I got it." I answer _

_"Well did you call him back?" She questions _

_"No and I don't plan on it." I say in a grouchy voice  
"Oh come on Serena you should I know you like him. You just don't want to admit it." Mina says _

_"Oh you think so. I'm so glad you are so sure." I say _

_"Serena what do you have to lose? You can at least see if he's trying to change. I will admit he didn't treat you as good as the rest of us. But you could at least give him a chance to change." Mina says  
"Fine I will call him if it will get you to shut up. But I know all he will do is bug me. We will get in to a fight, and he will sit there and call me names. And then he will go on and say that if I keep eating like that I'll get fat." I say _

_"I really think he's trying to change." Mina says _

_"Yeah but if he insults me I'm leaving or I'll just punch him." I say  
Mina just gives me a weird look as I get up and walk to the phone. I pick it up and I put in his number. I can hear the phone ring. And about after 5 rings I hear _

_"Hello."  
His voice is so deep but yet it sounds so kind. Dammit Mina is right I'm falling for him how can this be. But before I can think about it anymore. He says hello again.  
"Hey Darien you called." I say _

_"Hey Meatball Head, yeah I called." Darien says _

_"Stop calling me Meatball Head." I say _

_"I was wondering do you want to go out and eat tonight Meatball head?" Darien said _

_"Okay but this is not a date, I'm only doing it to get a free meal. And how many times do I have to say this stop calling me Meatball Head?" I said _

_"Yeah sure what ever you say Meatball Head. I'll come and pick you up around 5." He said. But before I can answer I hear the phone click.  
"How dare he hang up on me? I should call him back and scream at him." I say out loud. But before I can do it I'm being dragged in to my room.  
"Come on Serena we have to pick something out for you to wear." Mina says while she's going through my closet.  
"Come on Mina you don't have to throw the close. Your making it look like there was a freakin' tornado in here." I said while I just flopped down on my bed. _

_Why do I even bother its not like she's going to listen, she's on one of her love missions.  
"Come on Serena you have to take this seriously. I mean don't you want to look nice?" She said _

_It when on like this for hours. It was 3:30pm when Mina finally found something for me to wear.  
"Okay Serena we have an hour and a half just enough time for you to get dressed and for me to do your makeup and hair." Mina said _

_Finally I was already. I walked out of the room wearing a black one-piece dress that stopped above my knees and my hair was up in a messy bun. _

_"Serena you look perfect Darien won't know what to think." Mina said _

_Just then the doorbell rang and Mina went to open the door. Darien walked in and just as he came to the living room..._

_A/N: Hey that's all for now. I' really sorry that it' not a really good chapter. The next one will be better and I will try and get it up faster. But until then let me know what you think of this one._


	4. Chapter 4

A/n: sorry it has taken me a wile to update. But one of my good friends/ Guy I like has moved away. So I was sad for a while and didn't feel like righting. But now I'm back well back to the story.

Chapter4

Darien walked in and just as he came to the living room he stopped and just stared at me.  
"What's wrong do I look really bad." I said in a joking voice  
"No you look great." He said not even noticing I was joking  
"I think I could have figured that out with the drool hanging from you're mouth." I thought to my self.  
"Well Serena I think we better go. We don't want to be late for our reservations at the restraint."  
"Yeah okay. Bye Mina ill see you when I get back."  
"Yeah you bet you will. Don't come back until the morning." She said just as we were walking out the door.  
"What did she say?" Questioned Darien  
"O nothing she was just being her weird self." I said while laughing

We walked out to his blue Corvet. Darien walked up to the door on the passengers side and opened the door.  
"Whoa he's actually opening the door for me. I should say thank you." I think to my self.  
"But before I can he say's. "What's wrong Serena I am a gentlemen."  
"Yeah sure you are. As long as I have known you. You have never been a gentlemen." I say with an attitude  
He just gives me a dirty look and then he starts to laugh.

"What's so funny?"  
"Nothing Serena."  
"Well it has to be something. People just don't randomly start to laugh for no reason."

"Well its just you look so cute when you get mad because you act like a 5 year old in a grownups body."  
"NO I DON'T. WELL YOU ACT LIKE A 3 YEAR OLD!!"

I scream and just turn my head to look out the window. Then I noticed he was slowing down.  
"We are hear."

"Hey this is the new restraint." I said in excitement.

"Yeah I thought you would like to come hear. I have been wanting to see what its like."

"Yeah I been wanting to come hear to."

He drives in to the parking lot and parks it. Darien opens up the door and walks around the car to my door. He opens it up and I get out. We both walk into the restraint.  
"What is your name." The lady at the Stand asked

"It will be under the name shield." Darien said  
"Yes hear is your name. Please fallow me and I will show you your table."

We followed her across the room to a table that was in a corner with a window on its left. We sat down at the table and she gave us our mean us.  
"This place is so beautiful Darien."  
"Yeah it is. So are you glad that you came with me."

"Yeah I guess but this is still not a date. I only came to get free food. So you remember that buster."

"Okay meatball head what ever you say."

"Don't call me that. If you insult me one more time I will leave."  
"Yeah but if you leave you won't get a free meal."  
" yeah whatever Darien."  
"Have you and your girlfriend decided what you are going to get." The wateriest asked.  
"Yes we have and 2 he is not my boyfriend."  
"I'm sorry miss I just assumed you to where dating." The wateriest said

"Serena just calm down and order."

"Fine Darien but if someone else calls em your girlfriend I'm going to freak out on them."  
"I will take a stake, mashed patois, and corn." Serena said

"Ill have the same as what she is having."  
"What would you like to drink?" The wateriest asked,  
"We will have red wine." Darien said

"Your order will be done soon." The waiters said

"So Darien why did you ask me out anyway. Count you get one of your sluty girls you usually hang around."  
"Well I don't know what you mean about sluty I never hang around sluty girls."  
"You could sure fool me."

"Serena you always get so jealous."  
"I do not get jealous. I could care less what kind of girls you hang around."  
"Hear is your food." Said the wateriest."

"Thank you." They both said at the same time.  
They began to eat there food and wile they where eating. They also talked. When they got done eating. They got up from the table after putting a tip on the table. Then they walked over to the counter and Darien paid for the food. Then they walked out to the care and got in.  
"So Serena do you want to come back to my place."  
"No not really I want to go home."

"Why aren't you having a good time."

"No its not that its just never mined."  
"No Serena tell me."

"Darien If I tell you never mined don't try and pry your self into my business."  
"Okay Serena I wont."

And with that Serena just stared out the window until they got to her apartment. Darien walked Serena to the door. But all she did was say good night and went in side and shut the door. Serena walked around. To see that Mina was not home.  
"Must be she and Andrew went out. Well she wont be back until morning." Serena thought to hers self.

Well it's best this way. Then I don't have to tell her how the date went until morning and then I can think of a reason why I didn't go home. She's my best friend but I don't want to tell her the real reason. I can just see it now. Serena why didn't you go with him. Because I don't want to get hurt again I mean the last guy I cared about really bad left and I never seen him again and it hurt so bad I never got to say good bye or anything. I just don't want to get hurt again. Yeah like she would understand that no one will. So ill just keep it to my self.

A/N: Hey that's the end of this chapter pleas R/R. Keep the reviews coming I love knowing what you guy's think. I want to thank all of you that have read and reviewed my fan_fic._ I would also like to say sorry if this one is ant as good as my other once. Like if it is ant really detailed well enough. I will make sure the other once are.

fan I would also like to say sorry if this one is ant as good as my other once. Like if it is ant really detailed well enough. I will make sure the other once are. 


	5. Chapter 5

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_Chapter 5_

_A/N: Hey sorry I haven't updated in a while. I just haven't had the time. Well anyway now on with the story._

_I lay in my bed, I could hear Mina just coming in. _

_"Oh great, now I have to tell her why I didn't go home with him. Shit, I fell asleep last night and I didn't get a chance to think of a reason. Well I guess I can think of one now."_

_But all of a sudden the alarm clock went off. And just as I was shutting it off Mina came running in._

_" Well Serena, how was it?"_

_" It was great he didn't insult me too much. I might even go back out with him."_

_" I knew it you guys make a really great couple." She said with the biggest smile.  
"Wait, why didn't you go home with him?" She asked with a questioned look._

_" Well, um, I just didn't think it was right yet." I answered with a kind of worried look hoping she wouldn't go on one of her speeches._

_" Yeah maybe your right because you guys just finally stopped fighting, maybe the next date. By the way when is it?"_

_"Well, he didnt't say."_

_" Well you get dressed and then you are going to call him and you ask him out. And if you don't I will make your life a living hell got that?" She yelled. She got off my bed and opened the door and walked out._

_"Damn when did she get this bossy? Well I should have know she would be like this. She's been wanting me and him to get together for a long time." With that I got of the bed and walked to my closet and I pulled out a pair of baggy blue jeans. And picked out a shirt that was one of my favorite shirts it had one of my favorite band The Darkness. I walked to the bathroom. I laid the clothes on the counter and then took off my pajamas and turned on the water and got in. After I got done washing myself. I shut off the water and got dressed. I could smell the strawberry shampoo that I washed my hair with. It smelled so good, it maid me hungry for strawberries. As soon as I walked out in to the kitchen. I was being pushed to the phone._

_" Wait Mina At least let me eat first then I will call." I yelled._

_" No, you are going to call him NOW!!"_

_"BUT?" _

_" No but?s.. Just call then you can eat." She said._

_" Fine I'll call but you better let me eat afterwords because I'm hungry." I said while I was picking up the phone and dialing in the number. Mina put her ear to the phone so she could hear our conversation. I really didnt't care it just meant I didn't have to repeat everything and that I get to eat faster. Just then someone said hello. But it was not Darien's voice let alone a mans._

_" Hi, is Darien Shields there?" I asked with a questionable voice._

_" No he's not. Sorry he left this morning, something about leaving town." The girl said._

_" Oh, well, may I ask who this is?" _

_" I'm the cleaning lady." Said the girl._

_" Do you know when he's coming back?"_

_" No, he left the apartment, and his stuff is gone. I don't know where he went. All I know he said something about leaving town." She said._

_" Oh, okay, thank you." I said with a disappointed look. With that I hung up the phone and ran in my room and locked the door. I ran to my CD player and put in my CD with the song Miles Apart on it. I listen to the song everytime I'm sad and depressed I just sat on my bed letting the lyrics go in my head._

_Miles Apart_

_If I could I would do all of this again  
Travel back in time with you to where this all began  
We could hide inside ourselves and leave the world behind  
And make believe there's something left to find_

We'll be miles apart  
I'll keep you deep inside  
You're always in my heart  
A new life to start  
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart

Now we've all grown up, gone on and moved away  
Nothing I can do about it, nothing I can say  
To bring us back to where we were when life was not this hard (life was not this hard)  
Looking back it all just seems so far, so far away

We'll be miles apart  
I'll keep you deep inside  
You're always in my heart  
A new life to start  
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart

I'd give it up for just one more day with you  
Give it up for just one more day  
I'd give it up for just one more day with you

I'd give it up for just one more day with you  
Give it up for just one more day  
I'd give it up for just one more day with you

I'd give it up for just one more day with you  
Give it up, give it all away  
I'd give it up for just one more day with you

We'll be miles apart  
I'll keep you deep inside  
You're always in my heart  
A new life to start  
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart

I need you now, we're miles apart  
I'll keep you deep inside  
You're always in my heart  
I need you now, we're miles apart  
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart

_I put my head in to my pillow and started to cry._

_" Why did I go out with him? I knew something would go wrong. I should have just left it alone and I wouldn't have this pain." I thought to myself. Just then I heard a knock on the door.  
" Hey it's me please let me in Serena." Mina said_

_I got up from my bed and unlocked the door. Mina looked at me with the saddnest eyes. As I was walking back to my bed. I looked in my mirror. My face was all red with tears running down it. "Oh Serena, I'm so sorry maybe he has a good reason. I'm sure he will call you. She said as she was sitting down on my bed. I did not answer. All I did was cry and with high pitch whining felt Mina put her hand on my shoulder._

_" Serena its okay to cry, you can cry as much as you want. I'm sorry this hurt you. But I'm hear for you if you want to talk."_

_A/N Well that's Chapter 5 I hope you like it and I really hope it's a lot better then my last chapter. And I'm sorry I stopped it right there. Well please **r/r**__ I just love getting your reviews. And I would like to thank my best friend Ashley for fixing my chapters. And I would like to thank the people for reading and reviewing my fanfic. I do not own this song that's in this fanfic its Yellowcard's song Miles apart. And I just love the song and I thought it would go good in this chapter. Well please **r/r**__ ill get chapter 6 up as soon as I can Bye._


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Hey sorry I haven't updated in a long time, but my computer broke. Plus with school, its kind of hard, but anyways on with the fic.

_Chapter 6_

I woke up in the morning.

"That was the worst night ever." I thought to myself as I get out of my bed.

I look in the mirror at my red eyes and my cheeks were all puffy and swollen. I didn't feel like doing anything just sitting in bed and moping.

"How could this have happened?" I thought to myself.

Just then my door opened and in walked Mina.

"Hi Serena I'm sorry this happened, but I got you something to eat."

I just looked at her and shook my head. I started to walk back to my bed. As I got to it I lifted up the sheets and sat back down in it and put the sheets over my head and started to cry again.

"Oh Serena he is going to call you today and give you a reason why he left."

" I hope you are right." I mumbled back to her.

" Serena there are many reasons of why he left his apartment. I mean he could have went to a different one. Or he could have had to leave on a business trip. You know he's really into his work." Mina said in a sad voice.

" Mina I know your trying to help but I just want to be left alone. So on the way out can you shut off the light and turn on my radio and put in the Smile Empty Soul CD and shut the door?" I said between the cries.

Just then I felt Mina get up from the bed and I could hear her walk to the CD player and put in the CD. I could hear her pushing in the buttons. and then I heard her walking tot he light and the light switch click and then soon I seen nothing but the darkness just as she closed the door and I could hear the music start and I listened to the song (With This Knife) and I left the lyrics go into my head.

_with this knife_

_I let myself fall into a lie _

_I let my walls come down_

_I let myself smile and feel alive _

_I let my walls come down _

_No matter how I try I don't know why _

_You push so far away _

_You wrapped your hands tight around my heart _

_And squeezed it full of pain _

_Chorus: With this knife I'll cut out the part of me _

_The part that cares for you _

_With this knife I'll cut out the heart of me _

_The heart that cares for you _

_can't believe the way you took me down _

_I never saw the pain _

_Coming in a million broken miles _

_Like poison for my veins _

_Chorus _

_The hate and the fear _

_The nightmares that wake me up _

_In tears _

_The nightmares and (the hate)... _

Just as the song was ending i could feel my self getting weaker and then I count feel anything

_Dream:_

_I woke up in my bead and Darien was beside me. He was fast asleep and he had his arm wrapped around me. It was so bright out and the birds where chripping . I felt so happy and warm, and just then I heard..._

" _I love you Serena." Darien said with a calm voice.  
" I love you too Darien and last night was great." I answered back._

"_We can do it again you know Serena." Darien said with a smile on his face_

_With a huge smile on my face I answered with a "yes."_

_Just then Darien turned me over and got on top of me._

_And then it was over._

" It was a dream" I thought to myself.

I could feel the sadness and pain come back.

" I loved the dream but I wish I never had it because now that I have I'm even more sad. It would have been better to have been real." I thought to myself. I climbed out of bed and I stood in front of the mirror and looked at my face and thought " I'm not doing this again. This time its going to be different. I'm not going to get all sad and depressed over a guy. I can be sad on the inside but I'm not going to show it." I thought to myself as I walked in to my bathroom. I slowly turned on the water and as I was filling up the tub I put bubble bath in. The I slowly slid my night gown off and I looked in the mirror and thought to my self "why would Darien leave me what did I do? No Serena your doing it again" I said to my self as I got into the water. I could feel the warmth of the water the bubbled covered my breast and my legs. I closed my eyes and started to relax and try and forget everything. I sat there for a long time then I decided to get out. as I stood up the soap was still all over my breasts and my legs and my arms. So I took a wash cloth and wiped myself down. I got out and dressed in a white shirt and sweat pants. I tied my hair up in a pony tail. as I walked out into the living room Mina greeted me with a carton of chocolate ice cream. I walked to the couch and sat down. Turned on the TV to some soap that was on and I started to watch it and just then the phone rang. I reached over and picked up the phone.  
"Hello" I said.

" Hi Serena."

" Darien!" I screamed!  
" Serena I have something I have to tell you." He said in a sad/ worried voice.

" Yes" I answered in a worried voice.

" I..."

A/N: Hey sorry to leave you at that spot and I'm sorry that this chapter isn't very exciting. But I thought that one chapter should be about her being all sad. Well let me know what you think and I'll have chapter 6 up soon and it will be more exciting


	7. Chapter 7

_A/_n: Hey sorry I haven't updated in a long time. It's cause I couldn't think of what to write, and I have had a lot of stuff going on right now. But anyways on with chapter 7...

_Chapter 7:_

"I am sorry for leaving you, but something came up and I don't know if I'm coming back. I can't tell you where I am right now." Darien said with a sad voice.

_Just as he said that I could feel the happiness leaving and more pain coming._

"Why can't you tell me what's going on and where you are?" I said with tears coming down my face.  
Just before he could answer me I heard some girl in the background saying, "Darien I need your help. Get off that phone."  
"Darien who is that?" I questioned.  
"No one. Don't worry I'll call you later if I can."  
Just before I could say anything I heard the phone click.  
I just hung up the phone and ran to my room. As I got there I shut the door. I sat on my bed I could feel the warm tears come down my cheeks, I couldn't help but cry.  
'What is going on? I'm so confused and lost I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know what to do, there's no one that can help me.' I thought to myself.  
Just then Mina came in the room.  
"Serena! What happened was that him?" She asked.  
"Yes it was him. He said he doesn't know if he's coming back and he can't tell me where he is. And just before he hung up, I heard a girl in the background. He told me he would call me later. I don't know what to do and I just don't understand anything anymore. I don't get why I'm crying." I said with tears in my eyes.  
"Because you love him that's why, and don't worry he will tell you. He sounds like he didn't want to leave." Mina said while giving me a sad look.  
"Mina I know your trying to help again, but I want to be left alone." I said as I started to cry again.  
"I understand." She said as she was getting up.  
And just as she shut the door I grabbed my notebook and started to write a poem.

I Don't Know Why

_I don't know why this pain  
Is taking over my body  
I don't know why I'm crying these tears  
For someone I never really cared for  
I never thought I would love him like I do now  
I don't know why I even tried  
To get to like you  
Cause all it left me with was pain  
I don't know why I love you so  
I don't know why I even care  
I don't know much anymore  
Now that your gone I feel so lost  
I feel like nothing's ever going to be right  
I don't know why I even bother anymore  
Cause this pain and confusion  
Is to much for me to handle anymore_

_Just as I got the last line done I closed my notebook and put it back on my nightstand.  
I laid down on my bed and rolled up in to a ball. I just started to cry again. then things started to get dark again._

_Dream_

_I opened up my eyes and I was in a bed. I rolled over to find no one beside me. I got up and walked to the door. I opened it up and walked outside. In the yard across the street. I saw Darien outside with two kids, just as I was going to say hi, a girl with long brown hair walked out and wrapped her arms around him and started to kiss him.  
"NO NO NO DON'T DO THAT DARIEN!" I yelled with tears in my eyes_.  
"Serena its okay, wake up, it was just a dream." Mina said.  
I opened up my eyes and I was back in my room. I was covered in sweat and I could still feel the tears coming out of my eyes. I just laid there in shock with my eyes filled with tears.  
"What happened Serena? What was the dream about?" She questioned.  
"I don't want to talk about it right now." I mumbled back.  
Just as I said that Mina got up and left. I crawled out of bed and stood in front of the mirror. I just looked at my face that was all red and my eyes were puffed up. Just then I grabbed my notebook off the stand and started to write again.

_This Girl In The Mirror  
I look at this person in the mirror  
She used to be so happy and cheerful  
But now all she is sad  
She looks like she gave up on life  
She looks like she feels lost  
When I look into her eyes  
All I can see  
Is the heartache she bears  
And the sadness she holds  
I want to tell her  
That she's not alone  
But for some reason  
I can't get the words out  
So all I can do is look at her in the mirror  
And watch her slowly give up on life_

_Just as I finish writing that poem I started to think about what I was going to do about this. 'All I really can do is just wait and let him tell me.' I started to feel better after writing the poems. 'Whenever I'm sad I'll write poems.' I thought to myself. Just then I heard the phone ring.  
"Serena, it's for you." Mina yells to me.  
So I start to walk to the door and open it. Just before I get to the phone "It's Darien." Mina say.  
I took the phone from her and said "Hello."_

_"Hey Serena, we need to talk." He said with a kind of sad voice.  
"Okay..." I said with worried voice.  
'Whenever someone says that it usually means a bad thing.' I think to myself.  
"I still can't really tell you much, all I can say is I'm not in the country anymore."  
"But Darien why can't you tell me and who was that girl you were with?" I questioned.  
"I can't tell you because I promised someone I wouldn't and that this has to do with my past. That's all I can say and I have to go okay? I'll call you later bye." He said and then I heard the phone click._

A/N: Hey sorry that this chapter wasn't that interesting. Oh and by the way please DO NOT TAKE the poems, I wrote them myself. Well I hope you liked that chapter please leave a review. I will have chapter 8 up soon. 


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Hey sorry I haven't updated in a very long time! its just been really hared to with school and stuff. well anyways hear is chapter 8_

Chapter8

_"What did he say did he tell you why he had to go?" Mina asked  
" He didn't tell me much all he said that it had to do with his past.." I said with tears in my eyes that were slowly starting to roll down my cheeks that were all ready red from all my crying.  
"It's okay Serena everything will be all good and back to normal soon and he will tell you what's going on soon." She said with a big smile on her face.  
" I know she's only saying this to cheer me up." I thought to my self But I put a fake smile on my face so she could think it was working.  
" Now lets go and do something fun! Maybe we can go shopping and go and eat your 2 favorite things." Mina said with a big smile on her face.  
I just looked at her and said" Sure lets go" As I said that I thought to my self that I am not in the mood for this but I might as well go and let Mina think I'm getting happy.  
We both got up and got ready. When Mina finished putting on her make up we both walked out the door.  
"I will drive okay." Mina says with a cheery voice  
" Yeah its okay." I say  
As we get in to the care and Mina turns it one. I reach over and turn on the radio and turn up the volume that you could probably hear the song playing out side of the car. The song Pieces by sum 41 started to play It was one of my favorite songs right now. i just sat there and let the lyrics go in into my head.  
(song)  
**"Pieces"**_

I tried to be perfect  
But nothing was worth it  
I don't believe it makes me real  
I thought it'd be easy  
But no one believes me  
I meant all the things I said

If you believe it's in my soul  
I'd say all the words that I know  
Just to see if it would show  
That I'm trying to let you know  
That I'm better off on my own

This place is so empty  
My thoughts are so tempting  
I don't know how it got so bad  
Sometimes it's so crazy  
That nothing can save me  
But it's the only thing that I have

If you believe it's in my soul  
I'd say all the words that I know  
Just to see if it would show  
That I'm trying to let you know  
That I'm better off on my own

On my own

I tried to be perfect  
It just wasn't worth it  
Nothing could ever be so wrong  
It's hard to believe me  
It never gets easy  
I guess I knew that all along

If you believe it's in my soul  
I'd say all the words that I know  
Just to see if it would show  
That I'm trying to let you know  
That I'm better off on my own

Just as the song ended I turned down the radio.  
" Mina do you think Darien likes me? cause right now I feel like he don't." i said with a sad voice.  
" yes he dose he's just having problems with his life right now but if he could he would be hear right now and I'm sure he is really upset that eh is hurting you like this." Mina said with a positive sounding voice.  
" I don't know Mina sometimes I feel like I'm not that important to him. But yet other days it feels like I am its just so hared and its making me so frustrated and confused." I said with a little bit happier voice.  
"Well Serena it will be but you soon will see that he really dose care and things will get better. but now we are at the store so lets star shopping and eating it will take your mind of things." She said with a really cheerful voice  
ask she parked the care and shut it of we both got out and started walking towards the mall. I really did have to admit this might make me feel better I thought to my self. 

_" You may pick the first store Serena." Mina said to me  
" Um okay lets got to the music store I want to see if they have nay of my CD's I want." I said_

_As soon as I walked in I started to look for the CD I have been looking for. For along time. I was happy to see they had The darkness CD! as soon as I seen it I garbed it and went up to pay for it. But just before I could get to the chaser I heard a voice.  
" stop Serena I want to pay for it." Mina said with a smile one her face.  
" Why ?" I said with a questionable face  
" Because you have been having a bad week and i want to buy you something you really want and I wont take no!" She said with a firm voice  
" Fine" I said.  
then after that we went to lots of stores and food places. When we where done we walked back out to the care and as we where getting in the care. Mina asked" Did you have fun?"  
"Yeah I did Mina it was a lot of fun and it did make me feel better" I said with a smile on my face and just as Mina started the car my cell phone went off and so I hit the talk button and said hello..._

A/N: Hey you guys Hope you liked it I know it was really boring but its the best I could do with the little bit of time I have now well I hope you liked it pleas leave a review and I will have chapter 9 up hopefully faster than I had this one up.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Hello" I say  
" Hey Serena It me Amy!." She says with a happy voice.  
Mina Looks over she gives me the look that says is it him?  
I just shake my head no. I go back to putting all my concentration on the phone conversation.  
"how has things been going?" She ask  
"good you.?" I say with a fake happy voice.  
" Its been going good just working that's pretty much it." She say's  
Then I hear Amy can you get off the phone I need your help.  
" Serena I have to go help my roommate so I will call you later okay bye." She says  
Then I hear the phone click before I can say goodbye.  
" Who was it ?" Mina says in a questioning voice  
" O it was Amy but she had to go cause she had to help her roommate so she said she would call me back later." I said with a fake cheerful voice.  
" Hey Serena you are my best friend you don't need to fake a smile or fake being happy. You have the right to be upset! Its better to show you are upset. Then just faking being happy." She says in a concerned voice.  
" I know Mina Its just idk what to do any more." I say with a sad voice  
" I know its hard and I know you hurt but don't worry it will get better." She said with a serious voice.  
I think to my self " I know she says it will get better but right now I cant believe her. I am in to much pain to believe her." Finally we got back to the apartment. We both get out of the car and walk inside I go straight to my room.  
" Serena why don't you come out hear and watch TV with me?" Mina yells  
"No Its okay I am just going to get in my PJ's and listen to music and sleep." I said with a tired voice.  
So I get un dressed and I put on my PJ's that have rabbits on them.  
I Sit down on my bed and I pray to god. ' plz good can you help me I don't know what to do anymore I am tired of the hut and I am tired of being confused! Can you just bring him back to me Please I beg you! Amen." Then I craw into bed and I turn on the radio.  
The song Miss. Murder by AFI

_This is what I brought you, this you can keep,  
This is what I brought, you may forget me  
I promise to depart, just promise one thing.  
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep._

This is what I brought you this you can keep,  
This is what I brought you may forget me  
I promise you my heart, just promise to sing.  
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.

Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.  
This is what I thought, I thought youd need me  
This is what I thought, so think me naive.  
I promised you a heart, you promised youd keep.  
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.

Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.

Hey, Miss Murder can I  
Hey, Miss Murder can I  
Make beauty stay if I  
take my life?

With just a look, they shook,  
and heavens bowed before him.  
Simply a look, can break, your heart.

The stars that pierced the sky  
He left them all behind  
We're left to wonder why?  
He left us all behind

Hey, Miss Murder can I  
Hey, Miss Murder can I  
Make beauty stay if I  
Take my life?

Dreams of his crash, won't pass  
Or how they all adored him  
Beauty will last, when spiraled down

The stars that mystified  
He left them all behind  
And how his children cried  
He left us all behind

Hey, Miss Murder can I  
Hey, Miss Murder can I  
Make beauty stay if I  
Take my life?

What's the rift that twists within this furthest mystery?  
I would gladly bet my life upon it  
At the cost you love your ray of light will fizzle out  
Without hope  
Where the empty set just flowing through our empty skin  
And we're searching for what we were promised  
Reaching for the golden ring, we never let go  
You won't ever let us put our filthy hands upon it

Hey, Miss Murder can I  
Hey, Miss Murder can I  
Make beauty stay if I  
Take my life?

Hey, Miss Murder can I  
Hey, Miss Murder can I  
Make beauty stay if I  
take my life? 

**I slowly feel asleep**

**_Dream  
Darien "I love you" I say to him as I lay next to him in bed. I" I love you to." He says to me. As he starts to kiss me. He slowly moves down my neck and he starts to take my shirt off. Then he removes my bra and he leans down and starts to lick my one nipple and I can feel it get hard and I cant help but moan... _  
Then I wake up to a door closing. I start to cry " Why dose it have to be a dream!" I think to my self...**

A/N: Hey I hope you guys liked this chapter. I am so sorry it took me so long to update now that it is summer I hope I can update sooner. Plz Leave a review! I will have chapter 10 up soon! 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10  
A/n: hey sorry I haven't updated in awhile summer has been kind of going by fast!

" Why do I let my self do this! Why do I fall for the guy so hard then he hurts me so bad! I am tired of the pain and tired of the tears I am done I am just going to walk away if he wants me back he can come get me! I am done with all this pain!" I think to my self as I lay in bed  
"Serena are you up?" Mina asked with a soft voice as she enters my room.  
" Yes I am up." I say with a cheerful voice  
"You sound a lot better today Serena. You don't sound so sad." Mina said with a puzled look on her face.  
" Yes I know I am finally just moving on I am tired of being hurt cause of him. Don't get me wrong I love him with all my heart but I just cant wait forever if he wants me he can come an get me. I think this is the best thing for me cause being the other way is just killing me." I say with a firm voice

" Why do I let my self do this! Why do I fall for the guy so hard then he hurts me so bad! I am tired of the pain and tired of the tears I am done I am just going to walk away if he wants me back he can come get me! I am done with all this pain!" I think to my self as I lay in bed"Serena are you up?" Mina asked with a soft voice as she enters my room." Yes I am up." I say with a cheerful voice"You sound a lot better today Serena. You don't sound so sad." Mina said with a puzled look on her face." Yes I know I am finally just moving on I am tired of being hurt cause of him. Don't get me wrong I love him with all my heart but I just cant wait forever if he wants me he can come an get me. I think this is the best thing for me cause being the other way is just killing me." I say with a firm voice 

" I am so happy for you! I think you have made a good chose Cause he will come back and that way it will also show him you aren't waiting forever like you said! This is really good for you. I will help you through it! I think we should go out tonight to celebrate this new decision and I think we should go to the clubs!" She said with the a very happy voice.  
" Okay well I am going to get dressed okay Mina.  
" Okay" She said as she got up and walked out the door.  
" I know I have made this chose but I ant fully okay but I am a lot better than I was and I am sure it will get better." I think to my self as I got out of bed and walked to my closet.  
"Hmmm what to wear today. I need something that screams I am better than what I was yesterday and that I am ready to have fun! I know I will wear the black shirt that has a pink skull on it and I will wear that with my blue jean mine skirt!" I think to my self as I pull the shirt and skirt out of my closet and then I walk towards the bathroom. I turned the water on and as it was getting warm I took off my pj and laid them on the counter and then I adjusted the water the way I wanted it and got in.  
" I hope tonight will be fun at the club." I think to my self as I wash all the soap out of my hair and off my body. I slowly shut off the water and rap the towel around me and step out of the shower. I could feel the old air on my wet skin. I dried of quickly and put some clothes on so could get a little warmer again. I took my brush and brushed out my wet hair and I put it up in a ponytail. As I walked out of the bathroom and into my room I shut of my music player that was left playing from when I went to sleep.  
" Serena do you want to gout and eat for breakfast we can just spend all day out and then come home tonight after the clubs that's if we don't go home with a guy." she said to me while laughing as I walked out of my room  
" Yeah sure that sounds good to me."  
" O yeah Serena I invited Andrew to meet us at the club tonight i hope you don't care." She said with a worried voice.  
"I guess she thought I would say no or something but honestly I didn't care and plus she hasn't seen him much lastly cause she's been helping me a lot." I though to my self as i said " No I don't care it sounds good to me. What club are we going to?" I asked  
" I figured we could go to the new club down town I think its called club Q? I thought we could all check it out and plus I heard its saps to be good." She said with a calm voice  
"Sounds good to me" I said as we got our stuff and left the apartment.  
" I will drive Mina." I said as we got to the car.  
" Yeah I don't care that just means I get to chose the music!" She said with a happy voice  
We went out to eat then we went straight to the mall we shopped till we had to leave to go meet Andrew at the club.  
**_10:00 pm at the Q club  
_**"Hey Andrew?" Mina and I said at the same time  
" Hey you guys" Andrew said as he hugged Mina  
We all walked into the club it was awesome loud music and lights it reminded me why i loved clubbing before this whole thing ever happened. Mina and Andrew went straight to the dance floor and I went straight to the bar!  
" so what will you have miss the?" the Bar attainder asked.  
" I will have a screwdriver Plz." I said to him  
" Coming right up" he answered  
" Good chose." the guy next to me said  
" Yeah I know I love them they are very good drinks." I answered  
" Yes they are Hi my name is Dave." He said as he was checking me out  
" Hey Dave my name is Serena." I said to him  
" Here you go." The bar attainder said as he gave me my drink  
" Thanks." I said to him  
" When you are done with your drink do you think you would want to dance?" Dave asked me  
" Yeah sure." I answered With a calm voice  
After my drink we walked out to the dance floor and we started to dance and grind with each other. I could see Mina watching us with her nice big smirk on her face witch usually means way to go girl he's hot! After we danced for awhile we decided to go sit and talk for a bit.  
" So what do you like to do for fun other than this?" I asked him  
" I like to skate board I am in to all that kind of stuff." he said to me  
" That's cool I always wanted to learn how to but yeah I would probably end up killing my self." I said while I was laughing.  
after awhile of talking Mina came up to us  
" Hey Serena I am going with Andrew for the night." She said  
" Okay O and Mina this is Dave. And Dave this is Mina She's my best friend and roommate." I said  
" Hi nice to meet you Dave." Mina said with a smile  
" Nice to meet you to Mina." He said  
" Hey well I think I should be going to." I said  
" Hey wait can I have your number so maybe I can call you and we can talk more?" he asked with a worried look on his face.  
" Yeah sure you can have it Dave its 709 447-789" I said As we both hugged and I left the club.

A/N : hey you guys yeah I kind of took a change in the story I hope you like it I Just got a great idea about what I am going to do trust me it will get better and I will have chapter 11 up soon maybe before school starts maybe. But plz let me know what you guys think!


End file.
